Left over Stuff

Things I have gotten used to I realize were not there before treatment. What you ask? Like my fingers and toes still tingle and I have to be aware to move them. When I walk or workout for long periods of time my feet go numb. I also have weird nose things still. My snaught (sorry - no nice way to described it) is like sticky, gluey consistency and I get lots even though I have no cold or other allergies. My teeth are still suffering with weird stains and I use a restorative mouthwash. Obviously my hair - odd color but okay and I recently cut it off realizing how really easy really short hair is and no one is going to tell me I don't look good - I also know hair is over rated and it just is what it is. I also have chemo moments and lose words and thoughts. Or did I do that before - I can't remember. LOL. The medication I am on brought back all the hot flashes and I have them regularly. I was well past these and here they are but tamoxifen is what I need to be on. I see Dr. Z again in February and not sure how Often after that. It will be past one year but can't remember when 6 month appts start.

It is almost 2012 and nothing big planned for the night. Dinner at Timberline ad then home to watch the new year arrive. What will 2012 bring to us all? Happy New Year!

What A Difference A Year Makes!

I look at the calendar and realize it was one year ago today I had my last chemotherapy. It was an emotional day both scary and euphoric all at the same time. Today I celebrate and look forward to every day and the next day. I finally made the call to set up an appointment for reconstruction. I am ready to again move forward but I wanted to give my body and soul some recovery time. I want some balance and am okay with little. :). I am headed to South Bend to get a copy of my medical records from my surgeon to take to the plastic surgery center and hope I can take this next step soon. I think about it for a year and now want it done right away.

Spring is Near

I sit here in the living room early on a Saturday morning watching the sun rise.  What a beautiful sight.  I continue to appreciate the very small things in life.

I saw Dr. Zon again on Friday and it was pretty uneventful.  They weigh me (ugh), take my vitals (blood pressure fine), ask if I am in any pain (like what kinda pain?), and then Dr. Zon listens to my heart and breathing.  Done.   Kinda strange.  I do have a mammo in May and will set that up soon and then see Dr. Z in June for my next 3 month appointment.  After that she will see me every 4 months.   I do have blood work done and will have another echo gram done in August I think.  Not really sure what anyone is looking for.  I guess I need to do some more research. 

I do know I need to step up my self care.  I have to eat better, keep moving more, and try to get my fitness levels back to last year.  Okay, maybe walking 15 miles a day is not going to happen, but I could walk 5 miles and be perfectly happy.  I will be more active and begin a journal for food, etc.   Those are things we all should do - ya'll.

I have no other words of wisdom right now.  Talk to you later.

Monday Morning

I am headed back to work after being off from work for 8 days.  I did check my e-mail regularly so all have been read and most responded to.  I did not go in over the weekend and all of that will wait until today.  It will help my day go by fast.  Tomorrow is Centreville and always issues. 

I have started to research reconstructive surgery and am getting a little antsy to have it done and have one more thing behind me.  However, this endeavor will be prety significant and right now with my job not the best time to be off for 6 weeks and not sure even the process as it involves up to three surgeries.  My hair continues to grow and actually looks more like a short hairdo than a bald head growing.  I do have lots of unruly hair growth though.  The color is still very salt/pepper and wavy in parts.  The tingly in my fingers is very little but still there at the tips.  My feet are another issue.  I have to be careful to keep them moving as they fall asleep very easily and I have pretty much tingling all the time.  I have almost gotten used to it and just continue to function.

I see Dr. Zon on Friday for my first 3 month checkup and will also need to do lab work for research.  I continue to be on high blood pressure meds and tamoxifen and may be on these for awhile.  I hope to get used to the time change soon so I feel more perky in the morning.  I hate waking up groggy!

I don't really feel any other issues except I am not who I used to be.  I also find myself much more emotional than I have in the past and I just thought about the tamoxifen and wonder if that has anything to do with it. 

Time to get ready for the day. 

March 2011

I know, I know, I have not been writing much.  Honestly, that is a good thing.   We just returned from vacation for 10 days in Florida and overall had a very nice time.  I think Florida in March is the way to go because it is usually still cold in Michigan and usually warm in Florida and when you return to Michigan, it feels kinda like Spring.  Even more so because the time changed this morning so I just lost an hour.  Ugh!  I find that hour very precious thank you.

Friday in the airport in Orlando is when I first saw the news about the earthquake in Japan and the tsunami that followed - wow!  The devistation is unreal and surreal.

I had a very emotional time in Florida and not sure why.  I find myself more and more wanting to be retired and not work and to just enjoy every day to the utmost.  Odd, because I have never really had that much emotional attachment to the subject before.  I want to work hard for a few more years, pay off all our debt, and then be done.  I know much depends on my health because I need good insurance, and the stock market controls my 401 so much is out of my control.  Ugh. 

I am going to have to break down and get fitted with a prothesis.  Summer clothes are much more revealing than winter clothes and I don't plan to have reconstruction until at least fall and more like after the first of the year where I could then go to Florida and recover. That would be my ideal situation. 

So, with all that said, I feel like I need a focus and of course the 3-day walk is on my mind.  I wonder if my knee would stand another 60 miles weekend?   That is my biggest fear and last year it did good until mile 59 when I could definitely feel the stretch and slowed down and really was lucky.  So, if I started walking more and more, build it up slowly, I beat it would be okay.  I would do Dallas in November and not Chicago in August.  And the reality is, any number of miles I walk would be a blessing, I could take shuttles when needed, and still accomplish a lot!

Time to change the time on the last clock so I don't get confused and think I have more time than I do - that didn't sound good.  :)

Cute Hair

At least once a day I get told by someone how cute my hair is and how good I look in short hair.  Now, I have had short hair before and I guess I don't put this hairdo into that classification and I know people are just trying to be nice, but really?   Now, that is not to say I actually don't think it is kinda cool looking and not sure what the color even is, white, gray, salt-pepper, silvery, but it is nothing I have seen before on me.

It is curly as it gets longer and like Cat I have a strange duck tail in back and I have long ghostly hairs on my neck which I need to get trimmed to make it look more like maybe I am trying to keep my hair short. :-)

All in all, considering all my body has been through, I am doing pretty good.  I have to realize it has only been 8 weeks since my last chemo and all the information is your body takes months like 6 to 12 to really begin to recover.   So, one day at a time, one week at a time, one month at a time, and before I know it, a year will have passed.  I have not really thought about a time frame for reconstruction - probably not until January 2012 but that is just a thought.  That way I could spend a month in Florida during the winter recouping.  :-)

Saturday today and I am working around the house getting ready to be gone for vacation.  My house always looks better when I am gone then when I am here.  Oh well.

News Update

Sorry, nothing really new, just thought I would get your attention.  :-)

I can't even remember when I posted last and I assume not since Monday.   I had my port out early Monday morning.  Had to be at Memorial by 5:30 a.m. and we did it with 10 minutes to spare even in the dark (no electric at home) and icy roads.   Good job Joe!   Surgery was at 7:30 a.m.   I had an option of doing a MAC which is like what you get when you get a colonoscopy where you don't know what is going on or you sleep but there are no tubes down your throat etc.    So, I could actually hear some of Dr. Thompson's bad jokes but could not feel a thing.  I woke right up and actually was ready to go by 8:30 and they let me walk out of the hospital.  I loved it.  I have not even taken so much as an apirin for pain.  I love my medical care givers!  By 9:00 a.m. we were having breakfast and trying to figure out what to do since we had no electric.  We both ended up at work - he dropped me off and then came back later.  By the time we got home the electric had just come back on.  

I am officially on high blood pressure medication and not happy about it - but it makes me feel a little better.  I hope after getting back into a workout routine, and eating a little more healthy I can maybe get off of it.  I am also on the tamoxifen which I will be on for five years and that has managed to give me hot flashes again.  Oh well, nothing much I can do.  My fingernails are a work in progress and my toe nails are ugly.  They continue to grow out and become more healthy.  My hair is growing sooooooo sloooooow.  It is getting a little thicker because I had a pretty good thin spot on top.  My eye brows and eye lashes continue to grow and thicken and gives my face a lot more color.  I do appreciate that.

Hopefully, vacation next week will continue to destress me and I will return to Michigan mid-March all renewed.