Eye Opening

So, I was at work yesterday and went on the St. Joseph County Human Services Commission website just to see what was new and went into the events section.  It showed the Legislative forum from April 2011 and the photo has the backside of the audience and the front of the legislative members in attendance.  I remember being there and have to say when I first looked at the photo I could not figure who the large white haired person was at the front.  I could not even tell if it was a lady or a guy and then as I enlarged the photo I realized the damn personw as me!  OMG!  I did not realize how very white/gray my hair was and how large I look from the back (okay I probably look that large from the front too).  So you would think that would motivate me into going to workout right after work - right?  Wrong!   I went home and began to eat while I sat in my chair - a lazyboy no less.

I can honestly say I look in the mirror and do not see the same thing the camera sees but cameras don't lie.  I really need to evaluate my life and make a decision and get off this roller coaster ride.  I yoyo all the time - heavy, slim, heavy, slim, heavy, slim.  I do admit whenever I have been slim it has been because I cut way back on calories and exercise regularly.  I also have followed a carbless type of diet.  I am struggling now because I do not want to eat that way - I don't want meat, cheese, fats as my main source of calories.  I want healthy fats, lean protein only (mostly fish/seafood) and lots of veggies and a good balance of fruit. 

I did use the chocolate shakeology Cat gave me and I blended it with frozen strawberries, a banana and almond milk.  It was delicious and may motivate me to order some shakeology and begin to use it daily as a meal replacement.  I also know that exercise always motivates me to eat better and I like to do a variety of workouts - yoga, zumba, machines, weights, CV equipment, walking, etc. 

I will begin to take one day at a time, accomplish small goals, and see if I can get on track with the 1-2 pounds a week with exercise of some kind every day.  Sounds simple.  I should print out that photo of the fat white haired old lady sitting at that meeting for my motivation.  I can't believe I am saying this but I never felt more like my mother than I did looking at that picture for the first time.  Shit!