Day 3

I am trying to write daily hoping that one of these days I will feel totally normal and not remember feeling so shitty. This is not who I am and I don't now how to react. I may have a bad day once in a while but not day after day. I think I am waiting too long to take my pain pills and my Ativan because I am trying to tough through it and I have to change that mentality. I ate a peach first thing this morning and it was wonderful. I want simple natural, fresh stuff. I have no desire for chips or candy or ice cream. I think taht is why I am losing weight too. I am down another 1.4 pounds this morning. I try to eat something every few hours but it is hard cuz nothing sounds good. I have my pot out to poach my chicken and then when it is down I will have my chicken and noodles ready to put together. Cook some spuds to to make mashed potatoes and my tummy will be in heaven.

Time to do a little laundry - gotta do stuff early because later in the day I am not very functioning. I can only hope this feeling is just about over. I got to get back to some sense of normality. :-)