Last Friday of August

It is very early - like 4:30 a.m. and I am watching Ag Day and on FB. Insomnia can be a side effect and so far I have not had that problem because I normally get up this early. Every day that passes I become more like me - but I know in the back of my head - next week I start all over again. At least I have some idea what to expect - Thursday is treatment day and will be okay - just kinda "hurry up and wait". Friday I will feel like dying - Saturday I will want to shoot myself - Sunday I will feel just enough better that I want to stay home so I can get back to work on Monday. Then every day I begin to feel a little better. If I had 3 weeks between treatment I could almost be back to normal, just two weeks, I only get close, and when my treatments become weekly, I have no idea how I will feel - just look forward to any and all holidays and days off (Election Day, Veteran's Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas) Then, if all goes on schedule, come New Year's Eve I can celebrate 2011 and my completion of chemotherapy. From that point forward it will all be about recovering from treatment. Wow, I have been rambling today - time to go.