Last Day of September

It is officially Fall this week and I am enjoying the days going by quick.  Today is chemo 4 and it hard to believe I am at the end of this cycle.  Every treatment is different and I hope this one will be more like #2 and I recover quick.  It is going to be very cool this weekend so a great time to stay in my chair and cuddle with my pink blanket and just veg out.   My blood pressure has been up and down over the past two weeks and I will share this with Dr. Z and then monitor.  It was back down this morning which is unusual the day of chemo.  I also have been doing lots of stressing at work having a battle with the Judge in Centreville and then all the retirement issues and thoughts of the director leaving.  Ugh.   Time to refocus on myself for awhile. 

The Day Before

Yes, I can always tell what day it is because I am feeling almost normal.  So tomorrow it starts all over again, but this is the last one this cycle - one small victory.  I talked to a friend who had taxol chemo last year and she said it was easier for her than the first cycle of other chemo, so I am thinking positive that I will have the same reaction but in the meantime I will celebrate the end of this one and have two weeks to recoup and prepare things for weekly sessions.  It is all about preparation.   I also should get my treatment calendar so I can plan ahead and see how the holidays are going to go.   I am fearful it is going to take me through the New Year, but if it does so what?   I can't control it so I won't worry about it either.

Hat Weather

I am lovin' the cooler temps cuz my head gets real hot undera  hot all the time.  I still have my eye brows and my eye lashes and my leg hair (which is getting really long) so I guess it's time to get an electric razor to take care of the forest growing on my legs.  I thought by now that would all be gone - wrong.   Going to be a long day with staying in Centreville for al Elder Abuse meeting. 

Just Another Manic Monday

So much going on around me of which I have no control.  I feel pretty good this morning but have to admit I am already very tired of always having to have a darn hat on my head.  With the cooler weather, I wear a turban at home to keep my head warm - it really makes a difference having no hair - I never realized how much warmth is provided before.  I not only try to decide what to wear but what hat do I have that matches the outfit.  At least I don't have to worry if I fit into my clothes - I still have stayed on the low side of my weight and not gained anything.  Also, with the cooler weather I can wear sweaters and layers and feel more comfortable. 

Short week, and I am staying late tomorrow night in St. Joe for an Elder Abuse training.  Before I know it my 4th chemo will be here.

One Long Saturday

So, another tailgate done and I was more tired than last one, but haven't felt as well all week anyway so I was just happy I was able to go.  I do say everyone else has stepped up and I do very little at the games.  I did manage to run the battery down on the car - oops.  I have to laugh at people seeing me for the first time - and their reaction and some of the same questions.  We have one older friend who comes to the tailgates every time and he just puts it right out there.  He sat and talked with me and just said - "what kind of cancer do you have?"   I honestly can say no one has just spit it out like that.  He said it with the best of intentions and offered to do anything for us we would need and I believe he and his wife would do just that.   Another friend, whom I have not seen since all of this has been known, is also a bc survivor but had a very early stage, was trying to tell me how she knows how I feel because she just cried when she first heard her diagnosis and how I must be struggling some days - wow, is that not true for me and I tried to explain that to her and she just smiled.  

All in all, another good day, and as always look forward to Sunday to regroup.  Chemo is this week again, but the last one for this cycle.  Taxol is my next chemo cocktail and it is said to be a little easier than what I have been doing this time - but it is all about how one reacts.  Suppose to be little or no nausea and I will not need the Nuelasta shot the day after.  Time will tell - I will stay positive and just be happy to get that next cycle started - and you know why - the sooner it starts, the sooner it is over.  That is what the doctor says too.  

Again, all is good - (ok, maybe not ND football so far this year)  

Just Getting Around the Corner

Nine days after my last chemo and I think I finally have made the break of getting back to feeling much better.  I have to believe some of my stomach issues have been a touch of the stomach crap going around.  Caiden was home sick with pucky tummy and Joe has been sick all week and finally got medication - that is my explanation and I am sticking to it because I have not had this extended problem before.  So the goal is to keep those people around me healthy so I can stay healthy.  Ugh!   I may end up wearing a white mask all winter to keep the germs away.

I am looking forward to the ND game today and getting out of the house a little.  I really don't go anywhere during the week except to work and then come home and crash.  Last night I was doing laundry, dishes, and playing with the dog so I knew I was feeling better already.   My last chemo for this cycle is just around the corner.   One cycle down - one to go. 

Feeling Better or Not?

I can't really decide how I feel.   One minute I feel pretty darn good - another minute I feel like crap.  I suppose it is something I just need to get used to.   Oh well.   Sometimes I don't even know what feeling good is.......but I am still working and going to ND game tomorrow and just making my way through - all is good.

The stress from work is getting to me a little - retirement bill just passed and that will take out some management spots including the director.  Something I can't control so I won't stress over it - yeah right!  

I really can only do what I can do.    Again, all is good.  :-)

Being Cautious

I have continued to have tummy issues since my last chemo.  Also Joe has been having serious stomach issues and he finally went to the doctor and found a viral infection and gave him antibiotics - ugh!  So I am staying very far away from Joe (actually have been all week) and only hope I don't get what he has or maybe I have it already and that is why my tummy has been yuck.  The thought of getting sick right now is unacceptable.    I have no fever and my Ativan and Tylenol take care of whatever I am feeling - I still am not all that interested in eating much - last night I made crispy potatoes and over medium eggs cuz that's what I wanted. 

Another interesting thing - I got my first bill from Dr. Z since startig chemo - OMG!     The neulasta shot, which I take the day after chemo, is $5900 (yes, you see it right) per shot!  Then there is a charge of $45.00 for them to give me the shot.  I googled this trying to see if this is accurate and what I found was the charge goes anywhere from $3000 to $9000 depending on what area of the country you live.  One blogger said the doctor indicated this was less expensive than getting sick and spending up to a week in the hospital.  I sure hope BCBS thinks the same thing.  I am also very happy I don't have to have it for my next cyle of chemo.  

So far BCBS has covered everything after our deductible ($300) and I pay only co-pay for my doctor's appointments.   I will never complain about BCBS again.   Without insurance there would be some very hard decisions to be made and I know people out there are doing it every day.   Another thing I am blessed to have - insurance.   (I have a pretty attentive husband too).

It's All Around Us

It seems in the last few months I have heard more about people being diagnosed with cancer than ever before.  Maybe it is just because I am more in tuned to the word - like when you get a new car - like an Acadia that you never really noticed before on the road and now it seems every other car is an Acadia.    I also find myself being a little careful about conversation regarding people with cancer who are not doing well or have recently died.  At work a CPS worker was talking about an investigation where mom died in June of cancer, the family basically was financially bankrupt, lost their house because dad was taking her to Chicago for cancer treatment, and now the dad and children are living in a tear down trying to fix it up and still dealing with the loss of their mom/wife.  The worker never really connected the conversation wth me (which is a good thing) but I did.   It is scary to know that people are dying every day, every hour, every minute from cancer no matter how hard they fight.  I believe I am very fortunate and I have many years ahead of me - I know there are some just trying to make it one more day. 

Don't know where that came from - sorry if it seems kinda depressing - it really isn't.   It is just life - like a heart attack, a car accident, or any other event that takes a life.  It really is all about the cycle of life - we never know when it is our time. 

By the way - I am feeling better - a little bit every day.  This has been a strange cycle of chemo and hope next week I recover a little quicker - but it is what it is and I will take whatever comes my way - and that's the nightly news here at CBS.  :-)   Thank you Walter.  Wow, did I just age myself.  

Shhhh - don't say it too loud.

I almost hate putting this in print but I do believe I am feeling better this morning.  I didn't get home from work until after 5:00 last night and immediately put on my pj's, found a little food, and just sat.  Oddly enough, I had a small sliver of Lemon Meringue Pie and it was good - I could actually feel the textures and tasted the different flavors.  Not what I thought - so I had a potato and a piece of baked chicken - neither tasted bad but not as good as the pie.  So are you wondering if I had another piece?  No - but I will today.  I do need to thank my very good friend who provided me some words of encouragement after reading my earlier blogs and reminded me I can do this - thank you!! 

This journey really is just one day at a time - unfortunately my work is on high alert with stress and impossible missions which I know adds to my stress which is bad.   I need to work on my meditation and putting things back into prospective.  I have also been thinking about Christmas and what I would like everyone to do this year.  I would love to pass on the gift giving and do something different.  I will think about that and see what I come up with. 

I am blessed.

What Day Is It?

That was a long weekend and I was on the edge of feeling yuck the entire time.  Today I will return to work, take some food, and just hope to get through the day in one piece.  Hurry up 4:00 p.m.  I can only assume the repeated chemo is beginning to take its toll.  My lack of taste buds is odd and more difficult than I thought - I am back to taking things one day at a time.  I am a little groggy this morning and not doing much but having a cup of coffee (which still seems to tast okay) and doing some FB.  I will take some fruit to work but don't know what else - it is going to be a long one.  I guess I will have to get my Ativan refilled - I have been using it alot.  Last night took two pills and never moved until about 4:00 am.   I had a sore mouth last night but okay this morning.   One more chemo this cycle and that is next week - that's all I can look forward to right now - one thing at a time.

Keep me going strong Lord - I need you hanging in with me.

This is Getting a Little Old

So, it is Sunday morning (like really early) and I am on the computer.  My stomach is still feeling weird but I can't describe it.  I think if I eat something it will feel better, but I have no desire to eat anything because NOTHING sounds good.  My taste buds are blah, I can barely stomach water and I haven't had any problems with that until now.  I am taking my Ativan to try and get rid of the stomach feely thing and that just puts me straight to sleep.   It is 6:00 a.m. and I want something to eat but nothing at the same time.  This is so darn frustrating.  I have lost a pound from just not eating much and I can't really do this long.  I will just pick out a few things that are safe (Cheerios), apple (the crunch sounds good anyway), and don't know what else.  Not even my over medium fried eggs are doing anyting good.    UGH!   I'd rather have wild cravings then want nothing but have my stomach growling like crazy.  Poor Joe is trying to find something I want and is batting 0.   I want to try and go walking a little today.  I have been sitting in my chair for 2 days and time to move on.  I do give myself those 2 days to rest and even if I am feeling pretty good I control the urge to do too much.  I have to say - I think I am a little on edge  and just really ready for all this to be done.  It's gonna be a long winter.......

What the Heck?

So, I was not as perky after chemo 3 - no real headache no real nausea - just not feeling good.  I slept alot and was not on the computer much except to check e-mail from work and keeping the work flowing.  I am hungry, but nothing sounds good, and then when I do eat something it doesn't taste right.  I was told chemo can affect your taste buds and it has begun to do just that.  I had some frosted mini wheats which I don't usually eat but I wanted something sweet to taste - nothing - was blah.   I had some apple sauce - again, blah.  Nothing sounds good and during my other 2 chemos I had specific things I wanted - not this time.  This is not good because I will not be eating and Dr. Z will not be happy.  Believe it or not, I have to work at not losing weight.  Who knew?   I even have to work at drinking water which I like - just tastes blah - nothing much is helping.   The only thing I really like is orange/pineapple juice and I have to be careful because it has high acid which is hard on my mouth.  It is all a balancing act.  I also have to be careful about my sodium intake because I don't want anything to increase my blood pressure which runs high every time I go to the doctor - but not at home.   But the good news 3 down and only 13 more to go.  :-))

How Does She Know?

So, Chemo #3 was yesterday.  Got there at 11:30, waited to get my stats taken, and my blood drawn, and a urine sample.  That takes about 1 hour.  Finally hooked up through my port and the flow begins.  I was not feeling great - little headachy and stomach issues before even started.  Brought healthy food, pear, dry roasted peanuts, cheese, trying to keep food in my stomach.  Done in 2 hours and if I was not involved in the clinic trial, would have been done in 1.5.  It was very quiet in the chemo room with not many people.  I think the early group already left  and a few came in later.  Jackie was my chemo nurse and lives in Sturgis, and has draft horses  The conversations you get into are very interesting.

Stopped at 5 Guys for a small burger and fresh hot fries.  That was my big meal of the day, came home, and put on my comfy pants and found my spot in my new chair.  Not long after lying there along came Bella, thus my title.  She jumps up, looks me in the face, smelling my mouth, walks over and lies in my lap and goes to sleep.  She did this all afternoon.  The only time she moved was when I got up.  Last night, she slept near my feet, and about 3:00 a.m. she crawled up into my arm pit area, extended her paw to touch my face and started to purr.  Now, for those who know my cat, this is not her typical behavior and purring comes rare and you are very privileged if she does.  She has slept on me during past chemos but this time it was so much more obvious.   Because my laptop is on my lap right now, she is sitting on the couch looking at me.

I knew there was something about this little tortieshell spitfire from Animal Control - she is my little furry Angel.

Chemo Number 3

So, here I sit in my new chair, and waiting for something to occur and not knowing what that will be.  I have taken a Tylenol and an Ativan and would like to get some sleep and I am sure that will come soon.  Joe went back to work.  My head is feeling a little weird and it has been all afternoon even before the chemo drips.  I had blood work and urine test again and that takes an hour.  Then I have my chemo which takes 2 hours - not bad.  The last 30 minutes is part of the clinical trial - otherwise I would have been done sooner. 

My head is feeling better and I think I am over my mood from this morning.  I am glad because I do not have the energy to be upset.  I know part of my anxiety is the anticipated retirement for state workers and that will take out a number of experienced co-workers including my Director - lots of unknown.  

Time to get some rest and watch the hummers while they are still here.  Good Night.

My Own Opinion

I think there should be a book on etique as to what to say to someone when you hear they have cancer.   As many of you know, initially my health issues were kept to close family and friends and they respected that perimeter.  Then when I knew I would lose my hair - that changed and I knew it would.  I vowed to be open to people's well wishes and to talk if they asked questions.  However, people don't realize I have been living this life since May - over 4 months now.  When they hear the news they immediately call and ask how I am doing (they usually call Joe cuz most people know I am very private about my private life).  However, I do have some people contact me direct.  Recently received a private message that read:  "OMG - I am so sorry - I just received an e-mail telling me about your breast cancer diagnosis......."     First, please do not say you feel sorry for me......I can appreciate words of strength, that I am in your thoughts and prayers, that you know someone else that went through it, etc    The other thing that urked me right away is this is someone I don't really have any type of relationshp with.  I know her, but I haven't talked with her in a few years, never had a personal relationship of any nature, and the fact she received an e-mail from a family member my first questions is "why".   I was actually pissed and Joe knew it and tried to explain it away.  And then asked if I wanted to get away for a few days - Florida, Chicago, or wherever I wanted to go?    I can truly say last night was the first time he saw any aggitation or negative out of me - I was just pissed - I am the subject of lots of conversation and I absolutely hate it.  If no other person found out or no other person asked me how I was doing - I would be fine.  Obviously the feeling has followed me through the night and continues to be there inside me.   This too will pass.

One More Day

So, I am feeling tip top and I have a good feeling that chemo this week will be an easy chemo and I will be able to go to the wedding and reception on Saturday.  That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.  I have a small sore in my mouth but I think it is from biting my lip and not from any other issues.  It is healing with no problem.  I bought a couple more cute hats at Target.  I find hats are more comfortable than the turbans.  Turbans are cute, but hot and tight on my head leaving me with a headache and/or sore ears. 

Not much else ot write about and hope that my journal continues to be boring.

It's All About the Music

So, got up early Monday, headed out to Centreville and really had a good day.  Right this moment other than a bald head and a port sticking out my right collar bone area, and no hair on varying parts of my body, and a large scar across my chest, you would never know anything was going on with me.  I feel great - I almost feel bad I feel so good - NOT.   I do have a numbness just above my mastectomy and not sure if it is just the healing process, from the port, or someting else.  Dr. Z was not concerned about it, said part of the continued healing process and nothing she connected with chemo.   So, I just keep massaging the area to keep movement in it and will wait to see if it gets better. 

I came home from work last night, changed my clothes, grabbed my iPod and the dog and went out for a great 2 miles walk at a good pace moving along with great Music.  I wished I could share my physical and emotional state with others who are not doing as well with their treatment.

I have learned to enjoy every moment and not look ahead or wish my life away (okay maybe I am wishing it was New Year's Eve with hopes my last chemo took place already) but otherwise, I want to take in everything around me.   I want to listen to the music which can be the wind rustling through the dry corn, the tractors in the field, the humming birds buzzing around before the go South.  Music comes in many forms and I want to listen to it all.  Please do the same thing.  One never knows what is around the corner. 

Count Down to Chemo

I can always tell the week of chemo because I am so much on the road to getting back to regular me.  I do need to watch my food better.  I am not gaining weight per se, my hip measurements are going down, but I took my waist size and it is up an inch - ouch.  So, time to get out and enjoy that Fall like weather and not just sit in my new chair all the time.  I was very busy over the weekend and hope to get home after work, change my clothes and get outside for a bit.  Broghan could use some walking too. 

Nothing new to report except my fingernails are looking a little odd.  The "moon" is usually very white on my nails and now they are a strange purple look almost like they are bruised.  Also, I am getting lots of ridging.  I will do some research and see if that is usual and check with Meg and see if she had any nails issues.  I do have two toenails looking weird but that is from the training and walking.

Long Day.....

Saturday was a long day.  We left the house about 10:00 and returned home almost 12 hours later.  I have to say I did very well at the tailgate, but unfortunately did talk about my circumstance most of the day because all our tailgating friends came up and wished me well, told me how great I looked, and then we would continue to talk about "it" for 15-20 minutes.  This went on all day long.  I was so happy to finally get into the game where I could just think about football.  I freely shared my experiences with anyone who was interested and I guess if that helps people I am all about it.    My only issue is - I have been living this since May so this is kinda old news for me.  I have people wanting to tell others and send cards and do whatever they can - like cook for us or run errands.   I tell them keep me in your thoughts and prayers but otherwise I am still pretty functioning.  :-)

This entire experience has shown me there is lots of love in our circle of friends.   I also think the lack of connection with my own family being my mother and siblings has resulted in a stronger connection with friends - like a substitute family.  I think Cat would agree - because out of all of us she is the only family I am connected to and would do anything for - that is a trait I have that is not good or a way I want to be - it just is.   However, I think I am a better mother because I have no relationship with my own.  I call my kids just because, tell them I love them all the time, and do things for them (okay so I might have to lecture a little) but would jump to their side if anyone threatened their livelihood or well being.

Wow, where did all that come from.  Tally ho - time to enjoy the day ahead.  Chemo is this week and I am nothing but positive it will be a repeat of Chemo 2.  I have a wedding to go to on Saturday at ND and I hear the food at the reception is awesome.  Eating is still something I am enjoying - I love the fresh MI apples!!

Saturday Morning

I am a little nervous about going to the tailgate and seeing people who all know what is going on and have not seen me yet this season.  I know I will be fine once I am there, but I just don't want to spend the entire day talking about it.  Then the cancer becomes the topic and I don't like it consuming the day.  Hopefully, I can acknowledge the well wishes, then move on to the food and ballgame.

Dr. Zon was pleased with all my progress and lack of any side effects.  She did explain why I am doing the "dense dose" treatment.  She said treatment used to be every 3 weeks.  Then they reduced to every 2 weeks and patients responded well and liked it because it got them done sooner.  Then the last phase they reduced to every week and again found patients did well and reduced the treatment time in half.  She has no doubt I will be okay with the weekly treatment.  I then asked for chemo to be on Friday morning allowing me to miss just one day of work, have the rest of Friday, Saturday, and then Sunday to recoup and back to work on Monday.  She thought that was a good idea and so my treatment calendar will reflect that.  My weekly treatment will start the 3rd Friday of October.  It does come back to attitude and so if I know I will be fine - I will be.

Weird

No armpit hair - that's not all bad.

Just Another Friday

I continue to have nothing to report - what a wonderful phrase.   I do have an appointment with Dr. Zon today because she will be out of town next Thursday when I have my 3rd chemo and she sees me everytime I have chemo.  I will have nothing to report to her and she will be pleased.   I will just go down for my appointment and then come back to Cass and finish the work day.  I need to check our supplies for the tailgate and put everything together tonight instead of waiting for the morning.  Honestly, I am having a hard time getting excited about tailgate knowing what a long day it is and how I feel when I am healthy.  I know if it becomes more than I can handle I will either go into the ACC and watch the game on the big screen or return to the car and listen to it on the radio.  I have done that before and will do it again.  I also will be out around people I have not see in a long time and then the well wishes from people.  I will take it all in because it is important for me to be out there.  :-)

Where Has the Time Gone

I was just reminded I had not written in my blog lately.  I have been so busy at work and I have been feeling so good, I have nothing much to report.  No side effects - no hiccups, no heart burn, no diarrhea, no cravings.  I am careful not to get a headache for fear it won't go away so I stay alert.  I also can tell I have not been drinking enough water and I am feeling very dry - up that water intake.  My head is itching and my remaining hair is coming out.  I will be glad when the weather stays cooler because wearing these hats is cooking my head - even the coolmax stuff is hot on my head.  Yet, when I take them off - then I feel like I have a cold head.  It is funny because as soon as I leave work and get in my car, I whip off the hat and drive off, getting a few strange looks from passerbys.  :-)

I am half way through my first cycle of chemo and feeling so good this time around, I am ready to get these finished.   The next cycle is a different chemo cocktail so I may have totally different side effects - ugh. 

I have been exchanging e-mails with a gal that was going through chemo just last year at this time and getting some good tips and she is sharing good mental health stuff too.  Thank you MB!

Until next time. 

Middle of the Day

I never got to my blog this morning before leaving for work so am taking a lunch break and will put in a few words.  My head is hurting and sore - the stubbly hair and working it's way out.  I tried to shower and use my wash cloth but didn't work.  It was a windy day outside and I walked next door to get a salad but didn't have to worry about losing my hat as the stubbles are like glues and bristles.  Ugh.  It is 1:00 p.m. and I am ready to go home.  Had a 2-1/2 hour meeting with the Judge in Centreville - and he avoided looking at me as much as possible.  Actually is a nice man with a good heart - just past his prime. 

Otherwise - all is well.

Labor Day

So, I guess my internal clock thought I was going to work in Centreville today because at 4:00 am. I am awake.   I waited until closer to 5:00 to get up but just laid in bed and had lots of thoughts running through it.  I feel pretty darn good so I guess taking it easy Sunday was a good thing.  We are headed to Mishawaka today - I am going to JC Penney to get a few things for the house to try and finish up my remodeling from the bathroom and the kitchen/dining room.  First time I will be out since my bald head and I just need to get over it and not worry about the looks.  Obviously, people know I am doing chemo or at least that is what I assume when I see a bald headed lady.  :-)   We will pick up our season supply of tailgate stuff, plates, plastic ware, etc. and even though we are only going to a few of them this year, they will not go to waste and I can use the items for holidays, etc. as well.   I have no side effects happening right now but have figured out that the Ativan (which I take for an nausea) knocks me out.  The last two nights I have taken one after eating supper just because my stomach is not quite right and Andi (my chemo nurse) said take an Ativan at the very first sign of any nausea and the next thing I know - I am sound asleep waking up like about 10:00.  It works great on my stomach and is a nice sleeping pill too.  I just need to remember NOT to take it right before I get in the car to drive somewhere. 

I am hopeful for a good day all day and back to work tomorrow.  I have an appointment on Friday with Dr. Zon because she is out of town next week before my chemo.  Not much else happening - and trust me - that is a Good Thing.

Not Much Up

So, it is Sunday and day 3 after my 2nd chemo treatment.  I can honestly say not much is going on.  I do have a numb feeling about 6" below my port and not sure what that is from.  The stubble I have on my head is now falling out so soon I will have a smooth head and I have been taking it easy not really doing much.

I am just about ready to get up and clean out the fridge, dust the floors and do just a little of something to get myself moving.  I am being careful with my food not going goofy and so far so good - no diarrhea which my doctor was not happy I had last time and doesn't want me to have this time.  Lose too much hydration.

The day is beautiful so just about 11:00 a.m. I will make my move to become a little more busy. 

Just Never Know

I have been up since about 5:30 a.m. and feeling pretty darn good. No headache or nausea this time around. Almost strange and don't want to say it too loud. Of course, last time I was on the clinic trial medication for nausea and found out it was a placebo so I was virtually on nothing. This time I took an Ativan Thursday night and one Friday morning along with the one pill Emend and one more Emend today. Then I took a Tylenol 500 mg Thursday evening and another Friday morning at the first sign of a slight headache. So far the changes are helping ALOT. I could have gone to work yesterday with no problem. I am not going to push it though because just about the time I post this - some side effect could raise it's ugly head and bit me in the butt. So, I will take it easy, do a few things around the house, drink lots of fluids, and go for a short walk to keep me fit. I have already lost a pound but don't really think I will have the same tummy issues - I have NO cravings and actually nothing really sounds good.   It is football day so that will take my mind off all the other things - except the fact we are not at the game.  :-)

Being Cautious

I slept in until almost 5:00 and got up carefully. So far no stomach issues or headache. Had a cup of coffee sipped slowly and drinking water too for flushing purposes of chemo. Need to drink lots to keep one of the drugs from crystalizing and causing great pain when I pee. I am not a glutten for punishment so I will drink!

Will go to Niles with Joe to get my Neulasta shot and then just kick back and get ready for football on Saturday. I will not be doing any tailgate food for anyone - sorry guys!

So Far So Good

Been home about 4 hours since finishing treatment. I am beginning to get a dull headache like last time. No stomach problems so far. Joe went to pick up the Emend pills for nausea and Rite Aid had no order sent in so I will have to call first thing in the morning and try to get that medication. I will take 1 pill Friday morning and 1 pill Saturday morning - expensive so usually people with coverage get it. Neulasta shot at 9:00 a.m. in the morning too so can get it done and then be home for the rest of the day.

Did find out I had a placebo for the Mayo Clinic Trial so my not too bad nausea and much better with Ativan was because I was not on any medication. Dr. Zon laughed because I did so well without anything. Blood work was all "excellent" and chemo was faster. I know everything to do and have not as much anxiety. Half way thourgh this cycle......

2nd Time Around

I sit and anticipate what the day will bring. Since this is my 2nd chemo I know the routine already, but just enough time has passed that I don't have a strong memory of how crappy I felt so again I am thinking maybe I will feel better this time and it really wasn't that bad. I am still amazed how fast the human body wants to repair itself and rid the chemicals and start making good cells. That is really a good thing. So about 10:15 we will head back to South Bend to Navarre Place, I will see Dr. Zon after I have my IV put in, have some blood work done, and then snuggle in for the afternoon of drips and pushes. I made a pan of smashed potatoes and put them in the fridge knowing I had a strong craving for them last time. I know I will be out of sorts for at least several days and the goal is not to throw up. Such simple things in life are important - like a day with no vomit. At least I know I will not be able to work Friday - I am going in early this morning to help make up some of that lost time. Pay week so I need to process payroll for staff.

And of course, the other thing I have to do is figure out what the heck to put on my head. I did order a couple crusher hats so I can just plop them over my head - black and khaki - simple and kinda cute. The looks I am getting are priceless and no one says a thing. But in reality - what are they suppose to say? :-)

Just Another Day

It is interesting how until I see my reflection in a window or in a mirror I don't really think about my head. I wore a turban to work yesterday and it matched my outfit perfectly. It was okay inside in the air conditioning but outside way too warm. As soon as I left work at 4:00 I pulled off my head apparel and let the wind whipping through my scalp. I did get a few weird looks but overall it felt great.

I do believe I will be able to go headwearless (is that a word?) and only use a hat or scarf for warmth purposes and not to cover up. Also use it as a fashion statement. It definitely makes getting ready for work more streamlined except I do pay more attention to my makeup since my face is so out there.

Tomorrow is chemo again so I will start my cycle all over again. I have no real opinion one way or another because I have no choice. I am back to "let's just get it over". In the meantime, I will seize the day and enjoy even if it is rainy and gray.