Valentine's Day

So, what does this day mean to you? I like just spending the day with my husband. Don't get me chocolates, don't buy me flowers, don't get me a card, just spend time with me, go for a walk, go see a chic flick, cook a meal together, snuggle on the sofa or in the hot tub. I want the connection of two people who are committed sweethearts. This is because we are an old married couple not young and in new love. That needs all the above for the girl to feel special and for the guy to score at the end of the day. I like the concept of Valentine's Day just not all the commercialization of yet another holiday day.

It's All in Your Mind

So, when I wake up in the morning and I am feeling a little blue is it physical or mental? I am usually a very positive person and if I am quiet or more reserved others think something is wrong. When I am depressed over something, I usually want to be depressed and support that emotion. I really think your mood is a state of mind that you can control. Now clinical depression is a different subject and since I have never been, I don't know about it.

Right now I can feel down if I wanted. Job issues are very testy right now, possible job advancement, retirement of several people, personal issues with son being laid off, another looking at moving further away, etc. But I am okay - at the end of the day, I am okay and happy to be where I am.........it's all in your mind.

The Unknown

Either we embrace the unknown or we shy away and fear it in hopes of avoiding. Everyday we wake up with a sense of what the day will bring but then the unknown creeps into the picture. Sometimes the unknown is worse than knowing - this is true with a medical condition, family crisis, work problems, or relationships. You know something is not quite right but if you don't find out the problem you don't have to deal with it. Right now unknown is where will I be in a few years with unemployment, falling value of property, loss of benefits, and getting closer and closer to wanting to retire - what is up with that! So here I go out into the world of unknown again and see waht awaits me in the shadows.

Job Security

When you live in the State of Michigan job security is always a problem Consumer Energy is doing a large lay-off and Adam is caught up in the process and very upset, mad, sad, all the feelings of unknown. I feel for him as I have never just lost a job before but I work for the State and right now my job is on the line every day becuase of a 1.6 Billion $ deficit for the budget. That is a lotta money to make up and I don't think laying me off will help much but maybe 1500 of us might. Oh well, I will pack up and move south where it is warm........just another day.

The Eyes Have It

Something we take for granted so much - our eye site. Today I went to the eye doctor because I have some light flashes and floaters. I googled these and find they come with aging eyes. Most people between 50 and 70 will experience these. I have had some off and on since November and while they are a little annoying they are not dangerous or indicative of a more serious issue. So, for right now they are just floaters and flashes - if you really want to know more - google them. :-) I had lasik surgery 2005 - just one eye making my eyes ono - one for reading, one for far away and it works great! No glasses no contacts no nothing except looking. Today at the eye doctor I had my eyes dialated - wow - stingy and then I had something else done and there was sticky stuff put in my eyes and I will like a Halloween costume with yellow glowing eyes.

But I am find - I have 20/20 vision with both eyes working together. Watch out though - in casd I am having a floater or a flash while driving down the road I may be distracted. heehee.

Early morning.

When I was young I would get up in the morning, wander out to the kitchen, and there would be my mom and dad, sitting at the table drinking coffee (and smoking). I could not figure out why they would get up so early when they could sleep in if they wanted. I was just a kid so I didn't realize my dad had to go to work and my mom stayed up with six children so her day started early and ended late. Then as I grew up mornings became more of a favorite time for me and then one day, I realized that my biological clock wakes me up early - I mean early like between 4:00 and 5:00 a.m. every day - whether a work day or the weekend. I often write in my journal and my favorite saying is: "when did I become my parents" with all this early morning stuff.

So I admit to being a morning person and by the end of the day (for me 9:00 p.m.) I am ready for bed and don't really care what I am missing. I do believe there are more advantages to being up early than to being up late. However, it does make it tough to vacation with non-morning people - to me the best part of the day is wasted and to them (my husband is included in this) I go to be before the day even realy begins. Sonehow we work it out - I get up early and go out and walk/workout and come back just about the time others are just waking up.

Yes, it is early right now but I have been up for almost 2 hours. See ya'll in the morning.

Superbowl Sunday

First of all, it is February. Superbowl was always in January and sometime mid-January. This year the Superbowl is occurring one week prior to the beginning of NASCAR and the Daytone 500. I wonder - The Superbowl is in Miami and Daytona time trials also this weekend -maybe it is a tourism thing for Florida. Personally I don't care who wins the footbal game - just like to see it stay close to the end. It really is just another excuse for a party, and junk food, and betting. Go Bears!

Saturday

Everyone seems to work all week just for the weekend so Saturday is a special day because you still have one more day off before returning to the office. I like to have plans for my Saturday. I am a list person (but that's another story) and if I don't plan ahead for my Saturday, lots of times I do absolutely nothing except search on the computer, do a little housework and watch the television. But, I am okay with this. I have grown into quite the little hermit and I like to stay home with my animals and sometimes my husband - who prefers to be gone all the time. So, I will continue to work all week long just for my Saturdays. There you go.....

What is normal?

I look at my life and wonder somedays how simple things are and how I like routine. I have very few areas in my life that are unpredictable. Then there are people who have a dark cloud following them around and it rains on just them. Car trouble is something I have very little of but other people have car problems ALL the time. They owe too much on the car to sell or trade but the car is old enough and has enough miles that repairs are in the mix along with car payments. Can't get rid of one without the other. Car did not even qualify for "cash for clunkers" because it was too new. Hum, maybe if the car wasn't so deluxe it would be more cost effective to drive and/ or repair.

I will stay with my new vehicles and hope to buy and then pay off before I do repair bills. I will also look to make sure I don't have a cloud following me.......

It's All About Attitude

A normal person gets up every day and makes a decision, to be happy, sad, or grumpy. I know some days I just don't feel like being up and smily. I go to work just kind of sober and not upset, just more of a flat line without all the up beat greetings and laughing at 7:30 a.m. When I have those morning fellow workers, peers, etc. all want to know what is wrong with me, I'm not my usual self. Be careful what you establish as your "usual self" cuz that follows you around.

When I visit our dual county, everyone tells me they know I am in the building because they can hear me and that I am always positive, laughing, and making it a good place to be. I think that is a compliment but it also is a hard reputation to live up to on a day in and day out basis.

I do think when I get up early I have time to get to the happy place and if I am honest, I would rather be happy than not. If I feel blue it is usually because I don't feel good or because something sad or bad has taken place in my life somewhere.

Today however, is Friday, and I like it. Casual Day and my last day of being caretaker for Caide because his father returns from a 5 week training. Yeppy!! Enjoy the moment everyone - it is gone in the same amount of time.

Chaos, Crisis, Emergency

How do you distinquish between the three. I believe chaos is a state of affairs. Someone in chaos may have a very messy office, no organization, phone calls unanswered, paperwork all over, and leaves the office because can't function in the chaos.

Crisis, may occur as a result of the chaos, lack of following up on messages, lost billings, unreturned phone calls. Totally avoidable, and can be fixed usually.

Emergency could happen in any instance by events unforseeable. A car accident, child getting hurt, electricity gone, toilet backing up, car breaking down. Now some of these may be avoidable but usually not expected.

I try to stay away from chaos so there are few moments of crisis and I can better deal with an emergency.

State of the State Address

As a state employee I am always interested in the state of affairs for the state I work for. Unfortunately, my state is Michigan, known for the highest unemployment, Detroit, and stagnant economy with more people leaving than staying. The auto industry brought a lot of prosperity to Michigan. Who would ever thing the Big Three would be bankrupt or almost bankrupt. Things will never be the same. I can't figure out why Michigan cannot profit from the tourist industry. We have water on all sides except the southern border and the coastal areas are beautiful. Mackinac Island is wonderful, the UP is unbelievable, and the wine country near Traverse City is worth driving for anytime. The governor talks tonight and will discuss cutting our pay, increasing the amount we pay for benefits, unpaid days off, donated time, and how we are all helping stabilize the economy. I think I will go shopping in Indiana since I seem to be such a burden to the State of Michigan.

And that's all I have to say.

The wonder of it all.....

I have been taking care of my 4 year old grandson for a few weeks while his father is away at training for work. I am amazed at the cartoons he watches (can't really figure them out) and how he is so techy already. He plays Leapster and finishes game after game and is addicted to the Wii. He races Hot Wheels cars and after just racing one time he knows where all the short cuts are, the tricky track and how to manuever around like a pro. He gets mad at me when I can't race right.

I can't remember what I played at age 4 but it must have been like little play cars, crayons, and coloring books. How we have changed in 50 years - yes, you read right - I am 50 years older than this child. When I say that out loud it sounds like a very big number. Hum, I guess it is. He watches a movie in the car on the DVD, plays video games in bed to put himself to sleep, and plays Wii until he drops. But his favorite thing to do is help me read a book at bedtime. The more things change, the more things stay the same.

Mondays

I think there are lots of songs about Monday and none of them are about how much we love them. I like Monday when it is over because then comes Tuesday which is a pretty neutral day, then Wednesday which is hump day (and casual at work), Thursday is busy, and TGIF always is a happy day.

It is also the first day of February which brings Valentine's Day and then President's Day (which is a holiday for us State workers).

Rainy days and Mondays alway get me down........