Happy Halloween

Boo - just think of the cool costume I could have worn this year!  Uncle Fester, Mr. Clean, Mr. Potato Head...........Every day is an adventure and I wonder what today will bring me.  I think the car is going to storage for the winter,  I am going to get a few groceries - not much - just some salad stuff, and healthy stuff.  The week is going to be chaotic - Cass on Monday, off on Tuesday, Wednesday in Centreville but Dr. Z appointment at 1:30, Thursday in Centreville and Friday off for chemo.  Wow, that was a quick week!

Gone Today Hair Tomorrow

In anticipation of being done with treatment I have been checking the blogs about hair regrowth.  Like everything else that deals with cancer, it is all over the board.  Some people their hair begins to grow within weeks, others are 6 months out and still have just some stubble.  I don't have terribly fast growing hair so I really just figure after 6 to 8 weeks I will have a 1/4 inch to 1/2 inch which will at least be a covering on my head.  The bigger question may be what color and texture.   I really have no preference as to color - just having hair will be a pleasure. 

So less than 24 hours after my 3rd treatment and I am still okay.  I was tired yesterday and just watched a movie and Y & R episodes I had taped from earlier in the week.  This morning I am up early and doing some housework, dish washer, laundry, and going to go out in the hot tub when Joe gets up.  I cleared that with the research nurse and she said she knew of no reason not to as long as I use common sense and I always do.  ND plays at 2:30 p.m. and I really don't have any other tasks going on today.  I do want to rearrange the living room furniture and open up the heat vents so may do that tomorrow using Joe.  I will switch out the bedding, put the feather bed back on the bed, and get ready for the nesting of winter. 

Nine more to go

Just finished my 3rd chemo this cycle and now down to single digits.  It is going to be a real short week next week.  Monday in Cass, Tuesday we're off, Wednesday appointment with Dr. Z, Thursday St. Joe and Friday chemo.  I received my schedule for November and every Friday at 8:30 - even Black Friday at 8:30 at the new building in Mshawaka. 

Today's treatment took less than 3 hours - that was with labs.  I like going early - don't seem to wait around quite as long.  I feel tired today and not sure why.  I was out several times this week at some events with Joe and stuff at work is taking a toll on my mental state.  Time to meditate and yoga and walk and clear my head.......

See you tomorrow.

It's Friday Again

Amazing how fast the week goes when I have every Friday off.  Anticipate no problems, should be home by noon or so, and then have a couple movies to watch after catching up on the Y & R.  It's a hard life but I can handle it.  :-)

Time

seems to be going by at a fast pace.   Last day of work this week and tomorrow is treatment.  Not much happening. 

Nope

nothing new

Another Wild Day

It's all about the weather today and nothing about me.  I do seem to have more tingly sensation in my hands this morning and will be conscience of this.  I seem to have a few deep aches but may be just moving around more.  I have been pretty active around the house and I have been taking Broghan out walking every day - good for him and for me.   I am looking at chemo number 3 this week and then will be down to single digits - wootwoot!

It is such a double edge sword.  I will be soooo excited for the New Year and the end of my chemo but it will also be the loss of all those retiring at the office and another new chapter of my employment with the State of Michigan.  I just don't want the stress of the unknown to set back my progress.  I may need to start yoga and meditation.   U-u-u-u-m-m-m-m.

Monday

I find it is becoming more difficult to think of something to write in my blog than any side effects I am handling right now.  If I go a few days without writing just assume nothing is continuing to happen. 

I do continue to get cards and Joe gets phone calls from people who are just hearing about our journey.  We do have a great support system and this kind of event in your life brings out the compassion in many.

Christmas is in the Air

When I wake up so early I usually turn on QVC and Christmas is all over the place.  I usually dread the thought of Christmas getting here so fast.  This year I can't wait for the Holidays.  This is obviously for a very selfish reason, but a good reason none the less.  If I continue to feel as well as I do with these weekly treatments, I will be very pleased.  It is almost like I just have Friday off every week and then the inconvenience of going to SB in the morning. 

The only issue I am dealing with is my nose.  Odd, but it dries out so much it is sore, and when I try to keep it moist then it feels full of yuck.  I have to be careful not to blow too much because then it bleeds.  I use saline but it doesn't keep it soft.  Oh well.  If that is all I have to do - I can figure it out.  I have had no body ache like the doctor said I might.  I think I may begin to work out a little trying to ease back into more activity.  I have my Wii Fit with games, etc. and I don't think it is really a workout but will keep my body moving and it makes me laugh when I am chasing little things around on the screen.  :-)

I received a care package from Adam and Aubrie yesterday and it was so sweet.  I love the soft socks and the pink lavendar neck sock thingy -smells wonderful.  A very nice smelling candle and bath/shower lotion.  I feel so pampered - thanks kids!!   It was a nice surprise.  :-)

Keep me in your thoughts everyone - I firmly believe all the support and love and prayers from my family and friends is a big part of how I am doing so well.  God is Good!

Another Week Down

So #2 done.  Started at 8:00 a.m. had lab work done (which was not on my calendar but apparently I do every week).  Numbers came back good so proceeded with treatment.  This takes between 1 and 1.5 hours of just waiting.  This time they put the benadryl in my IV and not directly into my port so it was a much gentler effect but still ended up lying back and snoozing off and on during treatment.  I only have the clinic trial drug every other week so we were done by 11:00 which would have been really just a little less than 2 hours of IV.   We were home timely, and I did end up taking a two hour nap from about 1:30 to 3:30 but it was good.  I got out with Broghan and walked a couple miles, came in and cleaned up house, and have just been busy.  These treatments are not putting me down at all and I could almost have done it later in the day and gone to work in the morning.  I won't change it now - really can use the rest of Friday to take care of me.   Work is not going to calm down so I will just take the time.

Again, my goal is to keep my white count up and that is through good nutrition, staying active, and staying healthy. 

It's Time

for #2.  Let's get it done.  Nothing new happening and I am feeling good. 

Just Around the Corner

Treatment #2 is tomorrow and then I will have 2 down and 10 to go.  That is the up side to weekly treatments, the count down will go fast.  November will bring days off from work so my work week will get shorter and shorter.  I already don't have enough time to do everything, but I will NOT stress, will do what I can, and prepare as much for the future as allowable.  I don't have any lab work tomorrow so hopefully, the Taxol drip will go quicker since I don't seem to have any reaction, and will be done a little quicker.    I do have some tingling in my hands and my feet are a little strange but nothing that interferes with anything. 

Just a Little

So, I am feeling a little bit of tingly in my hands and feet.  Maybe it was the shoes I wore though. I have worn sandals for so long, regular shoes make my feet hurt.  Guess I need to go shoe shopping. 

I also think I need to stay a little more active after work.  I am spending too much time in my chair and then go to bed, and then wake up at flippin' 3:00 in the morning ready to get up.  I am also amazed at how well my fingernails are growing.  I have a little discoloration in my thumb nails but otherwise, they are growing, seem strong, and when I paint them look pretty good.  Also, because I am not doing a lot of physical work (like scrubbing, digging in the dirt, lifting weights) my nails are also growing better and not being broken off. 

I am still waiting for the body ache that Taxol causes but so far nothing.  Dr just said to take Advil/Aleve and if real bad take a pain pill (like from surgery).  Had my first problem with insurance payment.  Doctor's office changed provider name from Dr. Zon to Michiana Hematology and apparently new provider was not a member of my BCBS PPO until 6 days later.  Result?   $800.00 balance for using "out of network provider" when I never changed a thing.  UGH.  I guess the worse that will happen is the Christmas club will pay my doctor bill.   Merry Christmas everyone.

So, another Tuesday

This blog is becoming a little boring.  I just don't have much to report.   I am feeling pretty good.  I do notice my taste buds are still not right.  Things taste a little blah, but somehow I manage to keep eating.  :-)  

Bananas don't taste that good, apples taste very good.  Cereal tastes blah, soup I made this weekend tastes blah.  Whatever.    I do like fresh salad so maybe it will be a trip to Yoders today for one of their fresh salads.

Not So Much

Nothing happening so I will take it one day at a time and enjoy every moment. 

????

Things never cease to amaze me.  It is now Sunday morning - the 2nd day after my chemo on Friday - and nothing.  Not a tingle in my fingers or toes (yet), not a bad feeling tummy at all, no headache, not tired, etc. etc. etc.   I am still having to be careful of my nose and how dry it is and I am keeping track of my mouth.  Some of this is if I am receiving the BEVA in the clinic trial it has a number of side effects that I don't seem to have but doesn't mean I'm not on the drug.  Won't know that until the end of this cycle of chemo.

I think I have decided come January I will take a break from everything.  We may pop down to Florida for a short get away.  Come back to the office and see who is still working and maybe plan a longer get away later in the Spring.  I have decided to put off surgery again until I have given myself a break and maybe will wait until next year and plan ahead to go South for 6 weeks or so.  One never knows what we will do.  :-)

Right now it is just one Friday at a time. 

Another New Adventure

So, we arrived on time, and after waiting just a few minutes Rhonda put the IV line in my port.  She did a great job, I gave up my blood and peed in a cup.  Saw Dr. Zon within minutes and she reported all my numbers looking very good, and my echogram even shows my numbers have improved - unusual to see but made her very happy.  No more need for day after shot or nauseu medicine because Taxel doesn't require either.  Told me to take Vitamin B6 to help counter the numbness to my fingers and toes which taxel does do so will go to the store today. Also will pick up an over the counter laxative they suggested just to have on hand.  She was not concerned about my weight at all and overall things look fine.  I don't need to see her again until next month but I will take weekly labs so they can monitor.  I will see the research nurse every week.  So, I thought wow, this is going quick, I should be out of here in a few hours.  Wrong.   Went back to the chemo area and waited for my chemo nurse.  Not to bad, she came and hooked up my saline, and then I think she gave me a shot of benadryl (to counter any allergic reaction to the taxel)  thru my port.  The second she put the medication in I immediately began to feel light headed.  I asked what that will do and she said could make you sleepy.  And then I said oh yes, and kinda rolled my head and closed my eyes.   Next she put in a steriod to marinate my body in and again to protect from any allergic reaction by the taxel in my body.  That didn't take too long - like 20 mintes - because she had to let it sit before giving me the taxel.

Finally, the taxel was hooked up and the drip was soooooo slow.  It took 2 hours to do the one bag of taxel.  The nurse kept coming over and increasing the drip but it always seemed to slow down.  Finally, she got it moving faster.  Ugh.  Last, but not least, I had the BEVA or placebo, depending which one I have been getting. That was a larger amount for this cycle (1100 mg opposed to 700) but it was done in about 30 minuntes.  It was after going on 1:00 p.m. when we finally left.  Good thing Cathy brought a book because this was the first time I was actually lying back and sleeping (due to the Benadryl) but near the end I was much more perky and chatting.  We stopped at Prime Table for lunch and I had a julieene salad which was huge and it was very good.  I brought 2/3rd of it home and had some for dinner with homemade dressing and still have another serving left for today. 

Cathy did a great job of escorting me but like the workacholic she is - she dropped me off and then went to the credit union.  :-)   Her hair is growing out a little - I thought it would be longer, and I think the natural color will be very cool.  I am very much leaning towards letting my hair look anyway it wants to when it finally starts growing out.  Like my book says:  Any Day with Hair is a Good Hair Day!

Oh, by the way.   You will notice I haven't mentioned how I feel?  That is becuase I feel no different this morning or yesterday afternoon than I have all week.  I don't want to say it too loud just in case I jinx the feeling.  I was told I should do very well - I think I am right.  :-)

Football today and just a little work around the house.  Depending on the weather, I may even go out for a mile or so.  This is going to be an good day!

The Beginning of the End

I must admit I am a little apprehensive about the new chemo cocktail, but confident that I will continue to do well.  Doing treatment early instead of late morning to give me more of the day to recoup with hopes of returning to work on Monday.  Trying to minimize my sick leave usage.  I am greedy - I want to save my sick leave for when I am really sick.  :-)

Everything is Relative

We have certain friends that call at least once a week to talk with Joe and ask how I am doing.  The funny thing is I am doing much better than Joe who has been having some issues for almost 3 weeks.  He has lost about 25 pounds and has not drank alcohol since the Michigan game in mid-September.  He has serious internal issues and tests don't really show anything.  He has missed work and continues to suffer.   I am trying to take care of him like he usually takes care of me.  Come tomorrow after I have my next chemo I hope I am in good shape because I don't think Joe will be much help.  :-)  

Cat is taking me to chemo tomorrow and I am happy to have her go and see the process.  I think we all have imagines of what we think it is like.  I am amazed of how I walk in, have my treatments and have all these chemicals pumped into my body, and then I walk out and function pretty normal (for at least a few hours).  Sometimes nothing ever does happen, sometimes I just get tired.  All the information and talking with others that have had Taxol tells me it is easier than the first chemo combo but again, everyone reacts different.  I also don't know if I am receiving a placebo or the BEVA in my clinic trial.  BEVA is a trial drug because it is not the usual drug for breast cancer but is used for colon cancer and other organ cancers.    If I was a few years younger I might change my profession and go into medicine.  :-)

So.........

I just don't have much to talk about.  I have gained a couple pounds, so yesterday I really took control of my food and then walked after work.  I felt so much better last night because I did not snack all night justifying it with I am not feeling well.  I figured out I didn't feel well because I was eating so much crap.  I hope it is a little cooler today - if I need to wear a hat I would like to have it cool enough that it also keeps my head warm instead of making it sweaty.  Oh, the problems one has.   I have an all new appreciation for bald people.  :-)

Darn It!

I am so irritated this morning because I feel so darn good and I know it is short lived.  Ugh!!   I have talked with another friend who had Taxol last year and she said she did pretty good, no nausea but be careful of tingly and numbness in your fingers and toes.   So I am optomistic things will be good and I will just soar thru the next 12 weeks   :-)      I have been getting so much done around the house, wished I felt like calling in sick so I could continue my tasks but that is not who I am - I will be off to Centreville today.   I do have a cute new hat - gotta have something to look forward to right?

Going to be a beautiful day and I am going to enjoy every minutes.  :-)

Time for Tests

Before I begin my next cycle of chemo I need to have some tests done.  I do blood work every time I do chemo and all my levels are assessed and have been fine.  Today I have another echogram and then an EKG because all these drugs can be pretty hard on your cardiovascular system.  Since I am in the clinic trial, if I am receiving the test drug that is known to be hard on your circulartory system, can cause hypertension and so these tests are all very important.  My echogram from before treatment was 75% which is excellent and most people test about 50% so I am hoping things are close.  I don't know how much training to walk 60 miles improves my heart - but it seems it has to play some part of it.   I have not been doing much in the way of cardio exercise - I'll just keep my fingers crossed and hope the test come back okay. 

The need to be more careful

So yesterday, I thought I was feeling so good that I just pretended I was back to being totally healthy, did a bunch of stuff around the house, ate whatever I wanted, actually a bunch of crap, enjoyed the ND ball game, and then got the most aweful stomach ache, and by 8:30 I was in bed.  I woke up to a phone call, went back to sleep and woke up again at 5:22 (on the clock).  This is like sleeping in for me so I know I was not feeling good.  Got up, made some coffee, doing some laundry and hit the bathroom.  So, now I feel better, had a great BM (sorry for those with a weak stomach) and will remember that I still need to keep track of eating healthy and how sensitive my system is inspite of how I may feel at any given moment. 

I can say, my dried out nose is becoming more of an issue trying not to get a bloody nose, and wearing something on my head all the time is also becoming very frustrating - I snapped at Joe yestereday when we went out for breakfast, because I had a hat on and it was roasting my head, and I took it off and signed and he asked if I felt okay and I just said I am sick of wearing a hat and my head is cooking.  This was in the car of course - not at Hob Nob - CRAP!

That is one reason for staying home all the time - I wear a cap just to keep my head warm not to cover it up.  Joe did get me a pink skull cap from the NFL and it is very cool.  Thanks honey!

Gonna Be a Beautiful Day

It is nice when the main thing on my mind is all the things I can get done this weekend.  It is Friday, I am in Cass, I am feeling very good this morning, drank two cups of coffee (which is rare) I still have a little bm issue but not bad - I am good to go.  I am having more issue with dry nose and getting a bloody nose 2-3 times a day just because it is so dried out.  Saline spray helps but may need to explore something else.  If that is the biggest issue I get - it is doable.

I am still tired of the head gear thing - but not much I can do - just go with the flow.  Maybe need a new hat this weekend.  :-)

One Day Closer

I can tell as the days go by because I feel more and more normal - I know I repeat this but it is true.   I still have my dry nose issues and so I have had two bloody noses but use lots of saline spray and am very careful.  I finally ate enough fiber and drank enough fluids to fix the other end, and my sore throat has gone away although I don't think that was treatment related - just one of those things I deal with come cooler weather.   I am hoping for a productive weekend and getting lots of things done Saturday and Sunday around the house and in the yard.  Joe also got a pink light bulb for the night light outside so if you go past my house at night look for the "pink" glow - it is pretty cool.   He also bought me two scarves, a pink highlighter and two pair of pink shoe strings - I think he supports Breast Cancer Awareness - :-)

If it will help

I ate some dried plums last night (prunes) to help with my bodily functions and trying to drink more water.  Switching to warm water because ice water still tastes yuck.  I am eating lots of apples and other fruit hoping that helps too.  I still am nursing a sore throat, gargle with salt water, and again warm water seems to help.  It is not getting worse or going away - just lingering.  I have been okay overall and just trying to stay even.  I am planning to do lots of outside work this weekend to prepare for winter and then don't worry about it later.  Put away humming bird feeders, clean up lawn furniture and store cushions.  Also, get out feeders for my winter birds and put out seed to start their feedings.  My head is driving me nuts being itchy and having hats on is irritating - every once in awhile I just take it off at work.  Several people have come in to talk and do well not staring and I act like nothing is going on.  Someday this will all be in the past - :-)

Where'd that come from?

Constipation - never had that before - ouch.  First bloody nose from dry air - need to use more saline spray and be more gentle on my nose.  Then sore throat and a little plugged up this morning - UGH!   Good news - my stomach feels kinda better.  I ate a great salad last night and am already thinking about a salad today from Yoders in Centreville.  I want just the salad stuff - no cheese or meat - just fresh crisp lettuce and veggies.   The cool weather is great but my head is cold so I have a cap on all the time.  Yesterday at work the sun shining in my office heated it right up and I just had to take of my hat.  It is what it is people - I always enjoy the initial reaction, but then it gets better.  :-)    Does that sound a little mean?  Not meant to - okay - maybe a little.

Yep, It's Monday

So, another Monday and I am okay.  Food is not so enjoyable right now because again nothing really tastes good.   Fresh apples is about all I really enjoy but I can only eat so many of them in a day's time.  I had some tomato soup and that actually tasted good - seems the more blah something is the better it tastes.  Joe continues to try and figure it out - I asked for french toast thinking it would be in the frying pan and a crispy outside with cinnamon and vanilla but he put it in the broiler, made a smoky mess and except for the crust it was soggy - not what I thought it would be at all.  I keep trying to explain to him it is about the texture, crunchy, crispy, but ........ he isn't going there.  I stayed home all three days and find it is better even if I feel better.   Let's just keep this thing moving on.

Turn on the Heat

Typically, I like a cool house in the winter, but since I have no hair, my head gets very cold and I have to wear a cap.  Therefore, my heat may be a little warmer than years past.  I also have a goal to stay out of the way of other's germs.  I am armed with Purell liquid antibacterial lotion, Chlorox sheets and need be I will get those white paper masks to wear.  I also plan to stay very close to my own office at work, and home otherwise.   I am not being anti-social - just safe.  Sorry Caiden  - if you have a cold, you need to just visit grams over the phone.  :-)

Next

I don't have much to talk about this morning.  Yesterday was a great day, this morning I have been up since just before 4:00 a.m. just because I woke up and then when I have to go to the bathroom, time to just get up.  My stomach is hungry and I need to put a little something in it.  I had a desire for home made beef and noodles and instead Joe keeps trying to buy something to fill that desire.  Doesn't work - all commercial products are too thick, too full of flavors not natural and I am extremely sensitive to chemicals and tastes.  I asked him to buy me a chuck roast so I could put it in the crock pot and make my own beef and noodles.  Oh well, I am now past that desire and on to a Cobb salad from Round Oak - I want lettuce and salad stuff now - that is better than carbs anyway.  :-)

I also want apples, apple cider, and he did get both of those - he's such a good guy - taking way too much care of me and extremely protective. 

Ya Just Never Know

The internet has been on and off so hard to get on line to chat.  Right this minute I have the hiccups which is a side effect of the Emend pills I take today and tomorrow.   I have gotten them every time.  So, how am I doing you ask?   I woke up this morning and felt incredibly like it was Wednesday and not Friday.  I am doing very well.  Talking with Dr. Z Thursday I told her about my tummy just feeling yuck but not like I was going to vomit.  She said oh yes that will come from the chemo and I will prescribe you something for that.  They added something to my IV Thursday and then I have a prescription to take one time in the morning and it made a BIG difference.  I just need to learn to share more of that information.  I am so used to just toughing it out I don't realize there is stuff out there to help. 

So, I had my last Nuelasta shot this morning and glad to have this cycle done.  The nurse this morning told me before Neulasta they had to administer a shot 7 to 10 days in a row for the white blood cell count requiring patients to go to the hospital and have it administered - Nuelasta has been a huge improvement even inspite of the cost. 

We discussed the next cycle of chemo and whay I might expect with Taxol.  She said my hair might start growing back but don't get attached to it - usually doesn't stay.  She also said I should not lose any other hair - like my eye brows or eye lashes.  If I have them now I should have them for the Taxol.  They will monitor my white blood cell count.   I have to go for another echo gram and another test on Tuesday the 11th and then my first chemo for the next cycle begins Friday, October 15th at 8:30 a.m.  

I will just take feeling good each day as it comes and not overdue.  I have almost all the laundry done, I have been picking up a little, but no plans to go out and start weeding or scrubbing floors.  I have been chasing Bellaboo as she has been a bad girl today.   She jumps on me all morning long the day after chemo and then jumps through the house like crazy.